"Smile"

-by Alena S. Anigor

It was cold in the spacious room, the windows frozen from the waves of snow and wind attacking it constantly. It was getting dark outside, the huge clock on the wall signaling that it was close to six o’clock, the bat swaying slightly to and fro. But it was no wonder it was so dark outside. The days were always cloudy and cold here, with dark clouds towering and roaming over the white mountaintops, frozen lakes and snow-covered paths.

The only source of light was coming from one, solitary candle, glowing faintly on the large desk, covered only by a few papers and pens. The light was spreading mild warmth around it, the flame wavering slightly every time he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

He was sitting behind the large desk, in an uncomfortable, high wooden chair with ornaments carved into it. He was staring at the candle thoughtfully, eyes observing the constant play of the flame, but his eyes were slightly dazed, his thoughts somewhere else.

He leaned in a bit, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of the chair jabbing his back and let his head fall onto the hard and cold wooden surface. He let his hands rest aside, clutching the wood with his fingers softly.

How many years have passed by now? Three, four? He wasn’t sure anymore since he had come to this place and got lost in time. He would spend days and weeks, roaming aimlessly down the deserted, wide and dark corridors, trying to find and discover something he still hadn’t seen, but by now, he knew every corner, every room, every wall of this mansion and eventually, he stopped walking around, exiting this room only to eat something to keep himself alive.

His loyal servant, the butler, was worried about him, but each time, he dismissed his concerned remarks with a scoff or with a shake of his hand. He was all right. He was okay...he had always been strong. Always taught to be strong and invincible...He knew how to survive on his own and had to experience and learn everything the hard way...

Yes...he was strong...wasn’t he?

He closed his eyes briefly and opened them a second later to look at the burning candle again. The wax was melting, slipping and crawling down the candle slowly and stopping on the half way down. He glanced away, not wanting to look at the melting thing anymore and looked out the frozen window instead.

He had wanted this...He had wanted to return to his homeland, to his roots and his past, but...was that a good thing? Living in this cold and inhospitable country only made him feel unsatisfied and disappointed. He had come back here to sort things out, to try and remember everything, to deal with it, to defeat it...to live in peace.

But he found none of that here. Not in this country, not in this mansion, the legacy his family had left him, not in this room, staring dully outside and thinking of all the times he spent out there.

He started to get up slowly, the chair creating creaking sounds and he stood up, taking a hesitant step forward. Glancing one more time at the candle, he frowned at the small thing, the size of it decreasing by every passing second. He turned around and took a few steps again until he reached the window and raised his hand to wipe off the moist. He wanted to be able to see outside, no matter how many times he had seen the same scenery before.

He would catch himself staring longingly out the window on a few occasions, almost as if expecting something to happen, as if expecting to see someone, walking down the snow-covered field and waving cheerfully to him.

As if on cue, a mental image of Tyson came to his mind, him being the only person he imaged would do such a thing. Of course, Rei, Max and Kenny would follow, with trotting Daichi behind...And even that girl – Hilary would come perhaps, yelling at Tyson for leaving her behind...

His eyes closed and he tilted his head a bit, as if trying to summon them all by his thoughts. He opened his eyes again and saw nothing but snow and the remains of the mansion around him. No one was coming...No one was there.

And it was no surprise. He had always been alone...maybe that was really his destiny.

He never invited them, never called them, never sent them letters or anything. He thought that was stupid. No letters or phone calls could replace the real people standing in front of him and laughing, joking, teasing him...

The snow started to fall again and he let out a heavy sigh. How many winters have passed by already? He lost count.

For a moment, something tugged and pulled inside of him, making him feel restless. He wanted to do something, walk, run, jump...but he wouldn’t. He was not like that. He was not Tyson or Daichi. He was...

“Kai.”

He spoke his name slowly, letting it ring in the silence of the room, before he crossed his arms over his chest, an old habit he couldn’t get rid of. And old habit that still remained of the good old days...

He knew his life wasn’t easy. Everything he had to learn, he had to learn the hard way. From the moment he could walk and talk, think and understand, he was forced to fight and keep standing on his feet if he lost, to never give up, to never let his guard down. To win...always. Defeat was never an option for him.

And then came the time when things changed and he was once again forced to learn other things...the hard way. He was forced to team up, forced to be a leader, forced to spend his time with people he never knew or wanted to get to know. He was already so accustomed to loneliness and solitude that the sudden change of situation made him want to run away...again.

He lowered his head a bit to stare at the windowsill thoughtfully.

So many things he had had to go through...he had learned how to fight, how to destroy, how to win, how to lose.

He had to learn how to be a leader, a follower and a teammate. He had learned how to be a friend and a traitor. He had learned how to give in and fight back...He had learned so many things...but never on his own. He was never good on his own. Not then, not now.

He turned around briefly to look at the candle after the darkness engulfed the room completely. It had burned out. He turned back and looked outside, looking at the endless white and pale blue, mixed with gray. The bat under the clock still swayed, counting minutes and hours in the darkness.

Although he was all alone again, the lessons he had learned were more than valuable for him. The people who had taught him all those things were more important than any victory and tournament won. The events that had happened were more educational and worth seeing and participating in than any words of his deceased grandfather.

He raised his head a bit to look at the sky, thanking Dranzer by the way for all his support and spirit. It was the ancient bit-beast that believed in him so many times when he wanted to give up, fall down, crumble and simply disappear.

But most of all, he thanked his former teammates for teaching him one thing, he never thought he could manage before...

The room was dark and cold again, as well as the sky and the clouds above. The snow was already threatening to block his view outside, but he didn’t care. He allowed his lips to twitch upwards a bit.

He had learned how to smile.