Labyrinth

 

Chapter 8:  I’m Sorry

 

            Once Kagome had come to fully understand what had happened to them, or rather nearly happened to them, she was understandably wary.  If by wary one meant paranoid…  In fact, Miroku was fairly certain it was the better part of a day before she relaxed enough to let go of his sleeve.  He had never thought he could find the near proximity of a woman anything but pleasant, but when said woman was very scared and prattling nervously he did indeed find her proximity less than desirable.  It didn’t help that her grip tightened at every small noise until he was certain all blood flow to his hand had been cut off permanently.

            Miroku did his best to keep a cheerful countenance, but now that the immediate danger was over he found himself in danger of being wrapped up in his own dark thoughts again.

            ::why?:: he wondered darkly.  Why did he have to do this?

            Fortunately for both parties Kagome’s nature could not long withstand fear or desolation and she at last became comfortable once more.  Of course, she still thought this place was crazy.  Crazy and homicidal.  She wondered if anyone had ever described a place as homicidal before.  But there it was – the Labyrinth willfully desired her destruction, of that she was certain.  And it was all the fault of some stupid, stuck-up, demon Lord she had never met.  That was infuriating.

            What right did the guy have to make other peoples’ lives miserable just because he wanted his brother to come to terms with his humanity?  And what did she have to do with it anyway?  For all she cared Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha could rot…

            Kagome sighed; when had she become so uncharitable?  Perhaps when she had realized that her life was going to be threatened at least a dozen times a day?  Not that she had figured out how to tell when a day had passed in this place.

            One more thing to add to her list of complaints against the Labyrinth. 

            This train of thought naturally led her to thoughts about people who had to live in this place, which led to thoughts about Miroku, which caused her to watch him, and in the end led her to contemplate asking him just what he had dreamed about when they were under the fairies’ power.

            She couldn’t, of course, it wasn’t as though they were close or anything.  And they had already talked about so much.  But she couldn’t touch on that subject, because the look in his eyes told her that he had been reminded of her.  Not that he had ever told her there was a woman, but there had to be.  The way he had abruptly cut off when he was speaking about the other humans who lived in the Labyrinth, the closed look he occasionally got when they spoke of his past.  Miroku was a hopeless flirt, but at least once in his life he had truly loved someone.

            Maybe that was why he was now a hopeless flirt – maybe it kept him from getting too close…

            She didn’t think that was too likely.

            Since she couldn’t exactly come out and ask him about something like that she would have to settle for something less personal.  They could both use the distraction of conversation, she decided, for Miroku looked as miserable as she felt.

            “Miroku,” she came up beside him again and he acknowledged her with a weary, but sincere, smile.

            “Yes, Kagome?”

            She smiled a little at that.  He never missed an opportunity to use her name.

            “How much farther to the city, do you think?”

            For a moment his look became dark, but almost as quickly as his expression had changed it returned to his normal, easy, look.  “I have no way of knowing.” He admitted, “you’ll recall that I have never traveled this far into the forest.”

            She eyed him, “You seem awfully confident in choosing our path for someone who doesn’t know where we’re going.” She was teasing, but apparently he failed to realize that.

            “Instinct,” he responded, “you’d be amazed how handy holy powers can be in a place like this.  Almost as good as a compass.” The defense came a little too quickly, and it made Kagome uncomfortable.  She shrugged the feeling away – he had given her no reason to doubt him.  After all, all he had done since their first meeting was save her life again and again.

            And now they were once more walking in silence, which bothered Kagome for obvious reasons.  Silence left far too much time to think about how much she wanted out of this place.  When she got her hands on Inuyasha she was going to strangle him.  Never mind that he had fangs and claws, and was probably about seventy times stronger than she could ever hope to be.  Impossible as it seemed she would find a way, even if it killed her – which it probably would…

            Alright, so maybe this wasn’t the best line of thought either.  With a sideways glance at her companion she decided to give it another shot.

            “Hey, Miroku?”

            He almost sighed, “Yes, Kagome?”  there was no smile this time, but he didn’t really look upset either, just rather indifferent.

            “What did you do before you met me?”

            He was obviously startled by the question.

            “Do?” he echoed blankly.

            She nodded, “Yes, you had to do something didn’t you?  I mean,” she shifted uneasily, clasping her hands behind her back, “You didn’t just stand at that pit waiting for someone to fall, right?”

            He gave a short laugh, “No, Kagome, I most certainly did not.”

            She looked comically relieved, “Oh… good.  Then what did you do?”

            She wasn’t going to let this go.  After all, it seemed the safest topic available.

            He smiled once more, his posture relaxing almost imperceptibly.  In fact, the only reason Kagome even noticed was that his staff suddenly lowered a bit, a sure sign that he had relaxed his grip on it.

            “I… wandered.” He said simply.

            That answer explained everything and nothing all at once, and it did not at all satisfy her, that was obvious from the look she threw at him.

            Miroku shrugged, “What else can I say?  I walked through the outer rings of the Labyrinth searching for food and shelter and avoiding traps.”

            She was looking at him incredulously, “That’s it?”

            “What else was there to do?” he questioned, “There is nothing here but to survive.”  There had been other things once upon a time.  But at this point in his life, that was truly all there was.  Each day was the same worthless cycle.  Thinking about it now he wondered how he had ever endured it – alone and without direction – and he wondered despairingly how he would deal with it again once Kagome was… but if he thought about that he wouldn’t be able to do this.  And he certainly wouldn’t be able to face her, so he pushed the unwelcome thoughts aside.

            “Kagome,” he was looking at her with such a compassionate expression, as though he felt sorry for her because she had no hope of understanding, “this is what life is in the Labyrinth.”

            “But what about friends, family?  The man who raised you?” she questioned rapidly, “don’t you ever see them?”

            He shook his head gently, “The man who raised me is dead, as is my mother.  And as for friends… one does not often have the opportunity of making them in this place.”

            But that wasn’t entirely true.  He had had friends once… until they had been taken from him.

            More dark thoughts for another time.  And besides, perhaps soon that would not be so true.

            He decided to redirect the conversation, “What do you do in your own world?” he asked, truly curious.

            “Well,” she seemed to consider, “I go to school, and do homework, and eat at WacDonald’s with my friends, and try to avoid Hojo because after thirty two thousand rejections he still insists on asking me to the movies every weekend…”

            Miroku’s eyes widened, “Thirty two thousand?” he wondered, wide-eyed, “such persistence.”

            “Well,” Kagome looked away sheepishly, “I guess it isn’t really that many, but he’s been asking me out every weekend for almost two years.”

            Miroku was still impressed with such persistence in the face of obvious rejection and wondered that Kagome did not feel the weight of this compliment to her own charms.  That any man would pursue a woman who was so obviously disinterested in him…

            Not that Miroku didn’t chase his share of disinterested women… but that was different.  It wasn’t as though he chased the same disinterested woman all the time.  Though there had been a time that he had…

            And there went those thoughts he didn’t want again.  Was there no safe topic of conversation in the world any longer?  Or was it just that it was so close to the forefront of his thoughts since that night…

            “Miroku?”

            He welcomed the intrusion.  This forest was doing strange things to him.  Miroku was always smiled and winks and bright eyes and easy laughter.  He didn’t allow himself to think about the truth of life, because the truth was so depressing.  So why was that all he could think about now?

            “Yes, Kagome.”

            “Are we there yet?” she raised her voice to mimic a young child and then grinned at his confused expression.  There was no way Miroku would get the joke, she had known that before she said it, but there was something about seeing him look so sad… it wasn’t right, and it frightened her, so she had done the only thing she could think of.

            “Ummm…” he considered her for a moment, probably trying to decide if she had lost her mind, “No?”

            He was adorable!  Kagome quickly squashed the thought.  If Miroku knew she thought he was cute she would never get rid of him.

            “I’m just kidding, Miroku.” She flashed her most winsome smile at him, the one she used on Hojo when she was trying to let him down nicely.

            “I see…” he was still giving her that look.  Obviously he did not see, but that wasn’t important.  What was important was that he didn’t look melancholy anymore.  It seemed all they did in this stupid forest was try to distract one another out of depression – which was, in its own way, rather depressing itself…

            “You know what, Miroku?” She stepped in front of him, walking backwards with her hands clasped behind her.  He tilted his head and wondered how she managed to avoid tripping over the rocks she could no longer see…

            Her smile widened cheerfully, “I’m glad-”  she wanted to tell him that she was gald to have met him, that she was so grateful not to have to do this alone, but she never got the chance because, at that moment, Kagome was suddenly pounced from behind.

            “Aaaaaaaaaaieeeeeeeeeeeee!”

            Kagome’s shriek made Miroku wince and it took him a moment to collect himself enough to raise his staff and pull out a sealing scroll.

            “Yeesh, Kagome, you’d think someone was trying to kill you!” a very young voice spoke up far too close to her ear.  Kagome straightened from the half crouch she had instinctively fallen into and suddenly realized that there was a definite, though slight, weight on her right shoulder.

            Miroku raised the sealing scroll in preparation and Kagome, still desperately trying to process all that had happened in the last few seconds, instinctively pulled her occupied shoulder away from the monk and threw up her left arm as a shield.

            “Miroku, wait!”

            At the same time the voice yelped, a little too loudly, “You can’t attack me!  I’m just a kid!”

            And finally, finally, Kagome realized who it was.

            “Shippo!”  She reached up to pull him off her shoulder.  Shippo watched her uncertainly – that tone could have meant excitement or annoyance, he wasn’t certain which.

            “You know her?” slowly Miroku lowered his arms, slipping his scroll back into his robes.

            Shippo’s uncertainty was forgotten in a fit of indignation and he jumped out of Kagome’s light hold, “I’m a boy!” he informed Miroku, none too politely.  “Obviously.” He huffed and crossed his small arms, turning his back deliberately on the monk.

            “My apologies.” Miroku was looking at Kagome for some signal as to how he should treat the intruder, but she was just staring at the kit.

            “Whatever.” The kit couldn’t resist the urge to peek over his shoulder at Miroku.  Apparently deciding that he looked sufficiently repentant, Shippo shifted so that his back was no longer to Miroku.  Instead, he now stood at an angle so that he could easily look between the two humans.  He suddenly realized that Kagome was still watching him and he shifted uneasily, eyes darting to the path.

            “Hey, Kagome.” He offered, trying to sound cheerfully brave, and failing quite spectacularly.

            “Shippo.” She observed in a monotone. 

            Miroku watched the exchange in confusion.

            Shippo laughed nervously. “It’s uh, been a while huh?” he rubbed the back of his head, still unwilling to look at her.

            “Mm hmm.” Miroku decided that her face was taking on a rather maternal quality.  “Not since that game of hopscotch.” She observed, watching the boy for a reaction.

            “Yeah…” the kit was getting more nervous by the second, and Miroku was getting tired of looking back and forth between the two.  He wished they would get to the point.

            “You know, the one where I nearly fell to my death, and you disappeared.”

            Miroku’s eyes widened as he suddenly caught up.  He knew the end of this story – it ended when he caught Kagome and pulled her into the clearing.  Interesting.  So she had had a guide for the first portion of her journey as well.  He looked at the kit with new interest.  

“Where did you go?” Kagome’s question was blunt, her tone flat.

            “I had an errand to run.”

            She eyed him suspiciously, “You bailed on me.” She accused.

            For a moment he looked like he would protest and then he deflated, “So what if I did.” He said sulkily, “I’m back now.”

            “Mmmhmm.” Kagome didn’t look convinced.

            Surprisingly it was Miroku who broke the tension.  “Oh well,” he said, draping his arm over Kagome’s shoulders casually.  “No harm, no foul.  Kagome is safe.  Thanks to me.”

            The kit eyed him knowingly, “Well she isn’t dead, I’ll give you that.  But I’d hardly call her safe.”

            Kagome started, as though the exchange had suddenly brought her out of a deep sleep and she smiled.

            “Be nice, Shippo.” She scolded, skillfully ducking out from underneath Miroku’s arm.

            Shippo looked up hesitantly, “does that mean you forgive me.”

            She held out her arms, “Of course.” He jumped into her hug and then settled on her shoulder.  “Just don’t do it again.”

            Kagome wasn’t really angry.  After all, there wasn’t much the kit could have done to help her.  He was under no obligation to her, and he was just a kid after all… she had just been thrown off balance by his sudden appearance.

            Relieved, Shippo snuggled into the crook of her neck and shoulder and sighed in contentment.

            It was just like a spat between siblings – a moment of anger, an instant of petulance, and then it all blew over and things were just like before.

            Sometimes the kit reminded her so much of her younger brother.

            Brother…

            ::And what about Souta?::  Kagome started as the suggestion whispered through her mind.  Souta?  Her little brother… that was why she was here.  To save him.

            When had she forgotten that?

            It had been days since she could remember thinking about him – well except for that fairy fog induced vision, and even then she hadn’t been worried about him.  Just what kind of sister was she to forget about him?  Especially since it was her fault that he was gone.

            Kagome absently reached a hand to stroke Shippo’s tail as she was consumed by her thoughts.  Shippo darted a worried glance at her absent expression and then hugged closer to her.

            “So,” he chirped brightly, “What’d I miss?”

 

***

 

            They had stopped briefly to take a meal – provided courtesy of Shippo – and during that time Miroku had slipped away for a few minutes.  When he had returned he had once again been melancholy.  Kagome was beginning to wonder if he was bipolar or manic-depressive or something.  She supposed not, but the guy definitely suffered from mood swings.

            They had resumed walking at a faster pace and all her attempts to draw the monk out had failed miserably.  She was beginning to wonder if there was something seriously wrong.  Maybe Miroku had found out something about that person he was looking for, but he didn’t want to burden Kagome?  He did have that look in his eyes, the one he got every time she said something that reminded him of that person.

            Shippo wasn’t very talkative either.  He didn’t seem as though he liked the forest much.  This probably spoke volumes about his feelings for her since he had obviously braved the wilderness to find her, but he had also abandoned her once before… she wondered what had happened to change his mind, or how he had even known that she was still alive.

            Whatever the reason, between his behavior and Miroku’s she was utterly and thoroughly confused.

            Miroku stopped walking so abruptly that Kagome literally bumped her nose against his shoulder.

            “Ow…” she stepped back and rubbed it surreptitiously.

            “Kagome,” when she looked up he was staring at her intensely, his eyes dark and stormy, “I just wanted to tell you-”

            But whatever he had been going to say was lost in the chaos that suddenly broke out on the forest path.  From the trees around them and the path on either side of them came dozens of creatures in armor, all holding swords.  Shippo bounded onto her shoulder and squeezed close to her, nearly cutting off her air supply.  She just looked at them all, confused.  Her gaze darted to Miroku and she was surprised to see that he didn’t look startled, only resigned.

            “Miroku?” her whisper was tremulous and his gaze was so sorrowful she hurt for him.  Something was terribly wrong.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, stepping back from her as the guards approached.  She looked at him, eyes wide and wounded, clearly not understanding, and he couldn’t meet her gaze. “I’m so sorry.”

And Kagome’s eyes never left his downcast form as the guards circled her and grabbed her. Her thoughts were moving too quickly to catch one and really examine it, a muddled mess of fears and realizations.  He looked so sad, so… guilty. Shippo was gone again, but that didn’t matter. The guards were dragging her away, but she didn’t even notice.  They were between her and Miroku, blocking him from her vision.  She didn’t see him suddenly look up; she didn’t see the desperation on his face.  She certainly didn’t see him attempt to break through the barrier of creatures between them, suddenly, frantically, trying to reach her.  She didn’t hear him shout her name in agony as they brutally pushed him back, striking him and laughing at his obvious pain.  She didn’t see them holding him back; she only saw that instant in which he had stepped out of their way. And she only wondered why he hadn’t tried to help her. And then realization struck without mercy. 

            “I’m sorry!” he shouted.  But the words were drowned out by the voice that screamed in her head - ::he betrayed me!!!::