Zelda: TP - Gamecube vs. the Wii
Alright, so the Wii is already out and we missed our deadline badly *cringe* but, hey! Just because it's out doesn't mean we can't make fun of it. In fact, I have some new ammunition! My brother tried the Wii for fifteen minutes and then threw in the towel... and that's saying something there!
Just a quick reminder before we start Wii players: Wii-bies | GameCube players: Cubies
Round 2: Swordplay
In the second round of our competition we let our gamers tackle the challenge of a one-on-one swordfight. In the interest of fairness we pitted them each against... the mock-up scarecrow-ish dummy outside Link's home in Ordon village (pathetic I know, but we had to be fair to the Wii-bie... an actually opponent would have cut him to ribbons - trust us, he had trouble with the scarecrow ^_^)
Once again we have given our Wii-bie a coach (however, we did provide the coach with a kevlar vest just in case...) in addition to the oh-so-helpful children (do you sense the sarcasm here?) who kindly help you learn your first swings. It goes without saying that our Cubie (being the hardcore Zelda fanatic he is) needs neither coach nor annoying and ugly brats and remembers all the sword moves from the previous Gamecube titles. And so, on to our Wii-bie! Wii-bie : Coach
"This had better not be like the arrow thing."
"This is much easier, I promise. As natural as breathing."
Wii-bie is mumbling under his breath, "That's what you said about the archery."
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
"Okay, now the kids will tell you what you should do, so just follow their prompts."
"If they tell me what to do, why are you here?"
"Moral support?"
Wii-bie's eyes narrow in suspicion, "And what's with the vest?"
"Err... ummm..." looks nervously at the TV and cringes as he remembers the violence with which the Wii-bie destroyed the last one, gulps. "No reason. Why don't you try the first move?"
Wii-bie lifts the Wii-mote and attempts to speak to the first child, but instead manages to pull his wooden sword and beat the child repeatedly. The children on the screen reproach Link very annoyingly and proceed to talk for several minutes....
"You have to put your sword away!"
"I'm trying!"
"Talk to the kid with your sword put away!"
"If I talk to it with my sword put away it just talk about that stupid slingshot!"
"Quite hitting him!"
"I'm not trying to hit him! Where's the stupid A button? Shouldn't I be able to talk with 'A'?"