Zelda: TP - Gamecube vs. the Wii
Round 2 continued...
"You need to be at the right angle!"
"What angle?"
"The one where the Talk shows up over the 'A' button."
"Which hand is the 'A' button in again?"
"You're hopeless, you know that?"
Growls "Shut up and help me find 'A'!" After some searching and complicated maneuvering our Wii-bie has finally managed to speak to the child and start the first attack, a simple slash.
"This should be too easy. All I gotta do is slash to slash right? I love natural gameplay!" The Wii-bie proceeds to swing his sword in a neat downward arc only to miss the scarecrow entirely and hit his own foot. Link hops up and down effectively breaking out of the scene and forcing the Wii-bie to perform complicated maneuvers to get back to the children who promptly launch into their stupid spiel about how "That isn't right." and "Link did that on purpose. He's just messing around, but now he's going to slash the scarecrow,"
"Why didn't it slash the scarecrow?"
"Did you target lock?"
"I have to target lock the scarecrow? It's an inanimate object!"
"Well, you don't have to target lock, but if you don't you have to hit the exact spot the scarecrow is standing in relative to your own."
The Wii-bie gives the coach a blank stare, "How do I target lock?"
"You have to hit 'L'."
"Where's 'L'?"
"On the underside of your left remote."
"I have to hit that with my left hand?"
"If you can get it with your right you're very talented."
"Shut up." The wii-bie attempts to lock onto the scarecrow and somehow ends up locked on to one of the children, launching yet another diatribe, unfortunately he has such difficulty manipulating one half of the remote left-handed that he ends up locked on everything in the clearing before he finally gives up altogether and tries it without the lock. After missing twenty times (and therefore listening to the little brats twenty times as you cannot skip through them...) the Wii-bie is understandably upset.